Going to School

Oh, I’m going to be enlightened
I’ll gobble up knowledge like a cheap double cheeseburger
Expand my cranium
They’ll be vexing on my lexicon
Exclaiming at my braining
Astound at how profound
Oh, how clever I’ll be as I pontificate
But what good is all of it?
When I haven’t actually done a single thing
It’s nice to impress
But better to redress
But really, I digress…

Belligerent Love

I swear you’ll see me, and I await the day
Your megalomaniacal ego impedes the way
But I wait with a chip on my shoulder
My embittered self growing older and older
Go ahead, take your cheap shot
I know I’m all the things you wish I was not
But nobody’s perfect, and least of all you
Say what you want, I can list flaws too
These irrevocable actions lead me into despair
With my nascent realization that you’ll never be there
I can’t help but wear my emotions on my sleeve
But don’t you dare bitch, just shut up and leave
If you’re going to spout your pathetic hypocrisy
Revel in degradation, but please leave me be

Day 'N' Nite

The lonely loner seems to free his mind at nite, at at at nite...


Here I come to my blog, to free my mind just as Kid Cudi's song suggests. So what's on my mind? Lots of stuff. The Achordants concert is over, and I now have time to deal with all my latent thoughts.

I am wrestling just to write this right now. Sure, I have problems with girls right now. And it's definitely on my mind. However, is there even a point in me posting an exposition of my issues? Comparatively, I feel that my problems are so minute and superficial. There are some things bothering me, and it is my blog (which I am not forcing anyone to read), but I still just feel odd writing about it. So, let's grapple with something that doesn't deal with Ben's love life...

Are gay people born gay?

I suppose ultimately this debate is moot. However, it's something that's been on my mind. Being raised in a Presbyterian background, I used to believe there was no way someone could be born gay. But why not? Based on my Presbyterian background, I also learned that everyone was born into sin. I also used to judge gay people earlier in my life, before I really learned to think and be open minded about anything. I just knew that being gay was an abomination and that gay people were going to Hell. This was obviously a long time ago. Now, many of my closest friends here at UNC are gay. I accept them for who they are, and I support them. They are my friends, and their sexuality has no influence on that whatsoever. But, I do believe homosexuality is a sin. It's no different from my own sin, though. Telling a lie or stealing are sins also, and the Bible says that all sins are equal. There is no pedestal to place homosexuality upon, that it is the chief sin that is an arbitrary ticket into Hell. It is something that Christians struggle with, and that seems to be contrary to typical assumptions. However, based on my conversations with several of my friends, I believe you can be born a homosexual. Many of my friends tell me that they have no attraction to girls at all, and they could tell they never did. So why do people dispute the fact that you can be born as a homosexual? I have so much evidence to the contrary. And I do believe that homosexuality is unnatural, it's a perversion of sex. I believe that because the way the body is engineered physically is for men and women to have sex and reproduce. However, I am an adamant believer now that you can be born with homosexual tendencies, even if it is unnatural. I don't know if those two views are irreconcilable, but that is what I have come to in my mind. And while I believe that homosexuality is a sin, as I said before, I believe that everyone sins in some way. So, there is not scarlet letter placed upon homosexuals in my mind. I pray for my friends about it, but they also have my unreserved and unwavering support. I do not judge them for it. I am grateful that God has placed me in so many unique situations to understand different kinds of people throughout my life, with my new relationships in college being the most recent.

Metabolism

Well, tomorrow's election day. In the midst of such a significant political event, I thought I'd blog on something superficial. Well, comparatively superficial. I believe it's pertinent to many people, and pervasive in my own life. But, I'd say it ultimately pales in comparison to the election's significance.

One of the things I've struggled with my whole life is my physical appearance. I'm not comfortable with the way my body looks, and I never have been. It's not like I'm a lazy person and don't ever exercise. I take care of my body, and I play basketball as often as I can. However, I can't change the body type that I have. Whenever I take my shirt off, I'm embarrassed. God gave me a certain metabolism, and that's unchangeable. I can't alter my body to the ideal body image that many of us hold, and that's a hard thing for me to accept. What is the point of writing this? To remind myself that I need to put my faith in God. I do such a terrible job of applying everyday realities to my faith. However, there's no dichotomy between religious and secular things in my life. Everything I do should be influenced by my walk with God, and that's hard for me. Whenever I fret over how my body looks, I am living in the world. I need to let go of my superfluous worries, and just live my life. God made me in a certain way, and why should I question Him? Not that I should be given to complacency, but that I should not waste away worrying over what intrinsic body type I have. It's still hard for me to accept that certain people are blessed with an amazing metabolism, and it may be simply impossible for me to ever attain their state of being. However, that's such a worldly point of view for me to take, as I'm concentrating too much on something that is vain and ultimately insignificant. This is one of my most real struggles in life, and I pray that God may help me to let go of this. I hope that I can find a wife who accepts me for who I am, and that we can both move beyond shallow measurements of beauty. I want to enjoy my wife for the beauty of who she is, and I hope that she returns that sentiment. This may have digressed slightly, but it is all linked to my image of myself. All this to return to the simple idea: I am unhappy with my physical appearance. I hope for peace, that I may realize the utter irrelevance of this in the big picture.


"Sic transit gloria mundi."

Translated from Latin, "Thus passes the glory of the world."



...it is all fleeting and inconsequential in the end.

An ambiguous poem/song

Recluse

fragmented remnants of a broken heart

all that remains from what’s been torn apart

my trust, my hope, my all

the ignominious fall

the fall from warmth, the fall from love

the boy you betrayed

the man that you made

a man acutely aware

of this carnal nightmare

this nightmare known better as life

[chorus]

so goodbye to this battlefield called love

i’m tired of exposing these veneers

all the pain, and all the false promises

i’m finding comfort in my reclusion

my reclusion, the art of seclusion

far better than a false love’s delusion

yet i can’t fight the desire

but must quench the fire

and spurn the romanticized ideals

what’s the difference in winning and losing?

just in playing, the loser’s aren’t choosing

so save yourself now

lucidness is how

discourse slays the visceral lure

[chorus]

so goodbye to this battlefield called love

i’m tired of exposing these veneers

all the pain, and all the false promises

i’m finding comfort in my reclusion

Oh, hey blog

So it's been awhile. I forgot to blog toward the end of the summer, and then I became very busy at the beginning of this school year.

Like, far too busy. Balancing 17 hours, Achordants, marching band, Teaching Fellows, RUF, and (very soon) playing in the pit for Kiss Me Kate leaves me with no time for myself. I'd like to get out and play basketball more often, I really miss playing. I'm sure I'm pretty off my game.

That's enough rambling from the top of my head. Here are a few things on my mind currently...

I gave up drinking, and have been going strong for awhile now. This has been the culmination of many things. Not even my bad experiences drinking, which I have had probably 2 or 3 of. Those were not my main deterrents, but instead the fact that I have become closer with God recently. Samuel and I have both been trying to strengthen our relationships with God again, after pretty rough years last year. I know I have had success in this, and from my conversations with Samuel he is doing well too. Halfway through the summer I decided to quit completely, which piggybacked off of my decision earlier in the summer to drink responsibly, limiting myself to a buzz, and not to be given to drunkenness. However, I decided that it would be better for myself to avoid temptation to quit completely, and that it would give off a better appearance as a Christian. As I said, I've been going strong, but the point of me writing all of this is that it's VERY hard! I'm tempted to go out and have a drink with my friends, and be OK with it as long as I'm responsible. However, I can fight these feelings by realizing they are driven by the world. The chief end of man is to glorify God, and I am trying harder to glorify God in everything I do. That means I shouldn't drink at all, just to maintain a better image. The idea that everything I do should glorify God has made me a more responsible person in general, not even necessarily in a religious lens. I go to bed earlier and get enough rest, I do my homework, and I am just all around more mature and responsible. Though it's hard, I thank God for the positive change he has wrought in my life.

The second thing on my mind lately deals with the loss of close friends. I have been fortunate my whole life to have had great friends, but this year I feel I have lost some of that. I guess I'm insecure, and I like to be liked by others. However, I really loved these people, and it is sad to me that we have grown apart. 3 of my closest friends from high school have now become either superficial or nonexistent relationships. I guess this is part of growing up. It still pains me right now, and it's hard to deal with at times. However, I am grateful for the friends who I still rely on. I thank God for them, and also for my family, who are an ubiquitous support system for me.

I see my own personal philosophy reflected from my friends and family. The Lord is first, my friends are second, and I am third. I pray that I may live this out day by day.

Praise be to God for all things.

The Bucket List

I just watched The Bucket List with my Mom and Dad tonight. Excellent movie, I highly recommend it. Much deeper than I was expecting, and I have to delve into some of my thoughts...

Two questions are posed in the movie, which are the questions asked of ancient Egyptians before they were allowed into Heaven.

"Have you found joy in your life?"

"Has your life brought joy to others?"

What a way to think about your life. Have I found joy in my life? I would say that question is dependent on the second. I find joy by bringing joy to others, most of the time. I find joy in some things that, ultimately, are meaningless. It's hard for me to admit that, because I do find comfort in sports and music. However, those things are trivial. People are more important than any other things in this worldly life. I try my hardest to bring joy to others, and I can find joy in that. Either serving others, or amusing them. By bringing joy to others, I find joy in my own life. I would say that I can answer yes to both of those questions, but they are good consistent reminders of what I'm doing here.

I can say I've found joy in my life, and not in a superficial way. I've experienced deep, real joy. I hope to share it with others...

What Motivates Us

What makes us do what we do? In a similar vein, what is our purpose in life?

Woah. Heavy, dude. I suppose this is my own exploration into my mind, just delving into my own views and seeing if i can extract anything worthwhile. It is pretty deep, but I think that makes us (humanity, I suppose) shy away from it too often. Though it's a daunting question, if we don't broach the topic, then do we know what we're living for?

I never can decide what I'm living for. At times I feel like I can nail down my textbook, blogged out response. You know, I'm here to glorify God (thanks Children's Catechism) and to impact people positively in this world. Most of the things I do I am trying to have some positive influence on people. In my future career, the way I try my best to consider others...some of those things. I do strive to live that out in my life. However, glorifying God is a nice afterthought in my life. I can use that philosophy to make myself feel warm inside. But, most of the time, I'm not actually doing my best to glorify God at all. I need to reconsider this, do some soul searching. I try to, but it's so hard to break away from this world. I can understand the culture and shun parts of it, but not completely. I really need to work on this, but it's so hard at times. It's so easy for me to say here, but impossibly hard to make an actual change in my life.

I notice that I use lots of passive voice verbs in my blogging.


"I'm just a bastard, but at least I admit it."

-Slipknot

Oh so clever quote collage

Well I just added this to my about me on facebook...it's a progression of quotes that have a message. The message is applicable to my own life and my outlook on it right now. It's harder for me to live out though...

"But when I say let’s keep in touch, I really mean I wish that you’d grow up. This is the first song for your mix tape, and it’s short just like your temper, somewhat golden like the afternoons we used to spend before you got too cool."

-Brand New

"Should we try this before we give up and move on, and pretend to restore what we have and hold on? At times like this, it’s obvious."

-blink-182

"Is this it or could we still compliment each other like colors in harmony that make each other look brighter like we did in the old days?"

-PlayRadioPlay!

"We are not enemies, but friends. We must not be enemies. Though passion may have strained, we must not break our bonds of affection. The mystic chords of memory will swell when again touched, as surely they will be by the better angels of our nature."

-American History X



The clear conclusion is found in the American History X quote, at the end of the film. This comes after the line "Hate is baggage." Hate is indeed baggage, and it's hardly my place to carry it. There's only one quote that could summarize this any more effectively...

"Dearly beloved, avenge not yourselves, but rather give place unto wrath: for it is written, Vengeance is mine; I will repay, saith the Lord."

-Romans 12:19 (KJV)

Clarity

I said in many of my older posts on this blog that my purpose here is not to evoke any sympathy or some other emotion, but only to influence others in some positive way. Well, I felt it was somewhat silly and, in my eyes, insecure to continue to state this, so I'm done. I feel I've been clear on it, so that's that.

Fallible Friends

So lately I've found myself failing my friends, which probably doesn't need to be expounded upon any further, but just in little things and a few big things. I like to point out errors in others, but then fail to admit to my own faults. I can see when my friends fail me, but turn a blind eye to my own shortcomings. So, I apologize to those who I fail frequently. I admit to my own failures, and need to embrace them openly so that I may change them.

Infrequent and sporadic posting

OK so I don't post very regularly. Thus, the title of this post. I can hardly expect anyone to read if there's never anything new up. So, I'll pour my thoughts into this handy dandy blog this summer.

I never really considered myself to hold grudges. However, in light of recent events, I realized that I'm more of a resentful person than I ever realized. True, to be accurate, I have never felt such a high level of personal hurt inflicted upon myself. I found myself several times reaching rock bottom and further during some times this year. However, that is in the past. I can recall my personal struggles from the year now and retell them without solely longing for sympathy. These events have been written in my past, and the book is closed on them.

Back to my original point. I never used to hold grudges. I thought they were trite and silly. And I have harbored one for some time recently. In a time of some soul searching, I realized that it is not my place to judge others. Also, in my circumstances, and perhaps those of others, judge and grudge are effectively the same thing. It is not my place to judge the actions of others. And so, it is not my place to hold a grudge over those actions. I personally have failed others many times, and I counted on forgiveness for the numerous times that I my have caused pain in another's life. I'm not perfect, and nobody is. So it's time for me to realize that, though I may be skeptical, it's time to relinquish grudges. I have found them to be juvenile, and it's time for me to grow up. I cannot quench some anger that still lives inside me, and trust that has been lost is more than likely irreparable. Anger is my own issue that hopefully I can work through in time. Loss of trust is another issue that can only be assuaged over time. A grudge is something I need to release now, and get over my desire to feel victimized. I do feel I've been victimized, but it's immature and self-serving for me to clutch at such feelings for any extended period of time.

This is my most recent revelation. Hopefully anyone reading this can reevaluate the purpose of some grudge you may be disinclined to be rid of. I find no joy in holding a grudge, and as it is not my place, I hope that my new view might usher in some changes in others.

I haven't posted any poetry in awhile. The first I wrote some time ago, before the Teaching Fellows trip. The second are some lyrics I wrote when I was considering the hip-hop movement, and the dichotomy of hip-hop and rap.


Clinging to a misguided, misplaced delusion
A storybook ending, free of confusion
An outdated idea held with no premonition
I cling to it blindly of my own volition
My cynicism? - merely a last resort
A feeling of truth when all others fall short
But when all is well I spout optimism
And foolishly shun my own skepticism
I love to be loved, and hate to be hated
With a girl in my arms, no doubt I am sated
Oh these foolish ideas, my polluted young head
To clutch at these dreams, but awaken with dread
I'm tired of love, and the path that ensues
I'm weary of games, and I don't like to lose
It irks me so much every time that I fail
A prisoner of my heart, now I'll break out of jail
These romantic circuses only have shown
That happiness is fleeting; I'm best off on my own

Hip-hop’s dead, and the murderer’s rap

Like nas says, it’s “legitimized crap”

Yeah, nas, remember that name

Soulja boy’s the one who’s killin the game

Claim that rap and hip-hop’s the same

Get educated man, you know that’s insane

I been called a dumbass and a hypocrite

But I’m real on the mic and I come to spit

This is real life, so come on take it serious

These other rappers must be delirious

Always talking bout getting cars and hoes

Tell me, what you gonna do with those?

That isn’t getting anyone out of the hood

So start doin the things a man should

Instead of getting money get common sense

We’re all brothers, so what’s with the violence?

I may not have grown up in poverty

But I’m still livin vicariously

And trust me, I’m takin it seriously…

Tragedy tonight

Comedy, later – tragedy, tonight

Finding ourselves in a murderous plight

Myself the casualty and you with the knife

Plunge it in my back, and sap me of life

No more games, time to promulgate

Expose your true unmitigated hate

Inexplicable loathing as though I was scum

Reviled by you as though I was the Phantom

But my music of the night is only discord

Unable to see how I could be so deplored

Mercilessly, go on and rip out my heart

Naively I wait as you tear it apart

So dig the knife deeper as I play the fool

And leave me laying in an expanding pool

As dawn breaks, my body lays in new light

Too late for me - a tragedy last night

My Achilles Heel...except plural...

"It isn't hard work unless you'd rather be some place else."

-Don Shula


Thank you Don Shula, for revealing my sham. I don't actually work hard at anything. I only practice my trumpet when I feel like it. I play basketball, but only because it's enjoyable. I don't do any kind of cross-training to actually get myself into better shape. And schoolwork? I do the bare minimum to scrape by. My work is never hard, and it only comes out of necessity. The things I pride myself on most - not even really working very hard. I'm half-assing everything I do. I'm wasting my God given talents because I'm too selfish. I'm starting to use this quote to motivate myself now. It's nice to reevaluate - am I actually sacrificing to work hard? Or are you just doing whatever you damn well please?


On an unrelated note, I got my first Achordants solo. It's a youtube rap song called "Everday Normal Guy" - really more of a joke than anything else. But hey, I tried out to get face time. I was really excited when I got the solo, too. Then I got to thinking - and this is just more selfishness on my part. I put a lot of time into the group, and pride myself on my singing. And my mind is consumed by the thought of getting a solo - all I want is some recognition. I was very happy and wanted to tell everyone initially when I got the solo. Then, as I pondered the issue further, realized that I was just pumping more air into my already bloated head. Nothing like a solo to boost my ego beyond where it already needs to be, right?


Lastly, I feel I should comment on my love life (or lack thereof). The reason it warrants posting is because it's always on my mind. And the reason it's worth everyone reading is so I can call myself out on another patently obvious flaw. Of course, I like to complain about my trouble with women to most everyone. I still haven't determined why yet, perhaps I just want to evoke sympathy above all else. Rather pathetic. After all, sometimes I just can't understand what girls don't see in a good-looking, funny, intelligent, and caring guy like me...and I can sing! May God strike me a Eunuch rather than continue this pompous and arrogant facade. I like to build myself up, and I wonder why I can't seem to find a good girlfriend. And the reason I wonder why I can't is because I think I'm all that. I'll come right out and admit to those secret thoughts I harbor. I don't even want to post this and acknowledge my flaw, but I need to be called on it. Who am I, the sack of shit that God created, to boast in myself? How am I so incredulous that I can't find a girlfriend? The only positive in my own life is from the merciful hand of God, and nothing of my own doing. If it's not in God's plan for me to have a wife, then so be it. And above all else, it is not my place to whine about anything, and certainly not to wonder why a self-proclaimed "great guy" such as myself suffers from a futile love life. I pray that I will see that the only good in myself comes from God, and not to emptily boast in myself.

So, checklist for the Seven Deadly Sins:

Lust
Gluttony
Greed
Sloth
Wrath
Envy
Pride

Already covered sloth and pride just in my blog here...don't even get me started on the rest. I see them all in myself. Lord, help me to allow you to change me and live more for You.


I write this only to be thought-provoking, and hope that those who take the time to read my blog can get something out of this. Evaluate yourself honestly, and see where you stand.

A Cynic

A cynic, you say? A cynic, maybe

Or perhaps just stricken with reality

Yes, reality, everyone’s disease

Far reaching and worse than a cough or a wheeze

When our world is imbued with evil and hate

It’s clear we don’t start out with a clean slate

Fallen and fallible, our lives will reflect

But we break the mirror, eager to deflect

Our inklings of sin, we live in denial

We hope for the best, can’t detect the guile

Of innate human nature, found quite repulsive

Our shit is pervasive, we’re anal expulsive

We revel in ignorance, can’t break the trend

Don’t see the light until the bitter end

A cynic, you say? A cynic, maybe

Or perhaps just stricken with reality...

I love you

"I love you. I love you. I'm not even embarrassed to say it - I just, I love you."

"I'm not embarrassed."

"I love you."

"I love you. Why don't we say that every day? Why can't we say it more often?"

"I just love you. I just wanna go to the rooftops and scream 'I love my best friend Evan.'"

"We should…go up on my roof."

-Seth and Evan, Superbad


So...the dialogue here in this movie is for comedic purposes. However, I was thinking about it recently, and I feel that this is actually appropriate. Most of my best friends, I really love them. We should make it clear to the people we care about that they are important to us. Though it's funny in the movie, it makes sense to me. It is a great thing to have close friends that we really care about, and we should never take them for granted.

However, being a huge fan of Fight Club and the hyper masculinity advocated in that movie, where do we (males) find a balance between these two? Just a thought...because parts of me buy into both mentalities. Something to ponder, I suppose.

I really have nothing more for this post...merely my ramblings for the day. Something that gets my mind a-churning about stereotyping and cultural norms...

Eve Carson

Where to even begin? What a strange world we live in...

First of all, it's strange to even think of how it was Eve Carson, of all people, who was killed. The chances of it being the student body president of UNC versus any other student are slim. However, the question that I have is whether her death was random, if it was just for her car, or if it was premeditated. Either way, it is still incredibly sad...I just feel lost without the facts...

If the shooting was merely to get her car, then it blows my mind the society we live in. We are willing to kill another human being simply for the acquisition of material possessions. To what end? What would drive someone to resort to such actions? I cannot comprehend the taking of another person's life over something so petty. The extremity of such an abomination is mind blowing.

The other thing that's been bothering me is the fact that so many people gathered because the victim of the shooting was Eve Carson. Imagine if it had been some other random UNC student. The elaborate ceremonies, the huge response of the student body...would it have been the same? It's hard to tell, though I doubt it would have been. Surely some commemoration similar to this would have occurred, but to this extent? Maybe I'm just pessimistic, but I doubt it. How do we judge how valuable someone's life is? It seemed to me that Chancellor Moeser implied that Eve's impact could be evaluated by the huge throng of people that gathered in the quad. But I don't buy that...not that Eve wasn't an amazing person, but what made her any more important than my friend Roman Reed? No doubt fewer people showed up to his funeral than showed up to this assembly for Eve. But that doesn't make him any less important. How do we gage the value of human life, anyway? Because Eve probably wielded more power than Roman, does that mean she held some edge over him? Though nobody would ever come right out and say such things, I feel that they are implied in the situation.

Everything about the day just infuriates me. These are the inevitable repercussions from the Fall of man. And, I realize I am no better than the people who shot Eve Carson. I hope that everyone prays not just for Eve's family and friends and those who have been affected by the tragedy...but also for the shooters in the incident.

I guess it's just poetry that's on my mind now...

How you like me now? I go blaow
It's that shit that moves crowds
Makin every ghetto foul
I might have took your first child
Scarred your life or crippled your style
I gave you power
I made you buck wild

-Nas, "I Gave You Power"

Fuck what you know.

Well at my brother's prompting, I joined the blogging community. Welcome, me.

I've had a lot on my mind lately. I'm not a huge fan of the ambiguous references people write on blogs, and since I'm not banking on a large audience anyway, I guess I'll be straightforward. Mary Margaret and I had a falling out, and since I spent a huge portion of my free time with her, it's been really weird not talking to her at all. I always assumed at the least even if we weren't dating, that we would still maintain a relationship, but I suppose it will be easier for me to get over her if we don't. Though it's odd to care about someone so much and then lose it all in one instant. I'm trying to cope though, and I've been moderately successful? It's really an up and down thing, at times I can't get it off my mind, but at times I feel I'm making progress. There's just a lot of pain still to be dealt with, and I don't feel the pain will go away for awhile. But I've finally had enough, and I feel I've cut off the root of it. However, I've been quite the cynic the past few days. There's a part of me that almost likes cynicism, and I embrace it easily. In that same vein, I've decided that I'm done trying to date people. My instincts tell me to go after another girl, and there are a few girls I'm attracted to right now that I occasionally debate whether I should try to pursue or not. However, I don't want to jump into a relationship, or use another girl to get over Mary Margaret, or for that matter deal with a relationship right now at all, not after the foul taste that's been left in my mouth from my most recent one. But enough of that - I'd say my head is sufficiently cleared.

I watched Fight Club this weekend with my brother - and I was immediately enamored. Fantastic movie. And the premise of the movie has been running through my head nonstop since I've seen it (of course, what guy doesn't constantly think of glorified masculinity?). I wanted to tell my friends to hit me as hard as they could. I didn't though...maybe that's a good thing. I don't want to follow down the path to nihilism. Anyway, a lot of the quotes from the movie have stuck out in my head, two of them being applicable to my recent development.

"This is your life, and it's ending one moment at a time."

The simplicity of this statement almost makes me blow it off, but I like the frightening truth in the message.

"I felt like destroying something beautiful."

And the last one, which has stuck out most in my mind because of my situation:

"Fuck what you know. You need to forget about what you know, that's your problem. Forget about what you think you know about life, about friendship, and especially about you and me."

The harshness of this statement, especially in the implication of abandonment in friendship, stuck out in my mind. The word "fuck," though you could argue isn't needed, I feel adds to the intensity and impact of the statement. Fuck what you know. I have realized lately that, you don't know about people. You can't trust in anybody else, we're all fallible. I've thought about it, and this statement is especially pertinent to the Christian life. Forget what you know of this life, the only person you can trust in is God. If we place our trust in anything else, then it is futile and it will fail us. Only God will never let us down.