Environment?

What does it mean to be a "product of your environment?" This is something I gave a lot of thought to this weekend. For this to have become such a popular aphorism is disappointing to me, because it enables the shifting of blame. I don't believe something can be a product of its environment, at least not when discussing humans. I don't mean to contend with this phrase to open up the dialectic of "nature versus nurture," but rather because I find it a huge cop-out to claim anyone can be a product of something. Granted, the environment one is raised in and decides to live in has a great impact on you. However, to claim you are a product is to lose any responsibility or accountability. Rather, I subscribe to the idea that you can be influenced by your environment, but never a product of it, which holds the implication that how you act was dictated by your situation, and not you yourself. I believe you can be "enabled by the environment," an equally pithy and catchy phrase (with more assonance too). What's the important distinction in diction here? A product of the environment is something that became the way it is because of its situation, which is out of its control. Something that is enabled by its environment, however, has the motives for action innately, but may struggle to suppress them because of its environment. This is a more realistic way of looking at people, and it demands higher accountability. I also find it interesting that bad actions are often attributed to being a product of environment, while good actions are human nature. I was a "product" of a good environment, yet I find myself delving into evil actions. By common theory, this is inexplicable. The only truth is that I reflect the depravity of man. Environments do not create us. They only enable us to see the true depths of our evil desires.


Other things on my mind that I will refrain from due to my looming 10 page paper:

-Is a win-win situation really just a lose-lose?

-Shouldn't it be birthdate, not birthday?

What Society Tells Me

Spurn me, society Spurn me the way i do myself Tell me how abhorrent i am Tell me what’s wrong with my life Tell me how i should be living Oh, God, all i ask for is some truth Somebody tell me I don’t want to hear about a lesser man There is no man lesser than me I don’t want comfort in the fact that i feel guilt My remorse shouldn’t provide solace All i know is I am the vilest of all creatures Why i am allowed to crawl the world, i don’t know Spreading my pandemic End me now, God I’m ready to go But only God knows And so Society will never spurn me

Compunction

Well, I have been away for a long time. I have decided to return so that I may wrestle with my own feelings right now. I am the perpetrator of the most egregious offense, one which I shall not reveal based on the public nature of this website. Not that it should matter, as anyone reading this is probably close and would keep good confidence. However, I digress.

I hate myself right now for the sin I have committed. But, worst of all, I have no solace right now. I have strayed so far from God during my life that I turn to Him in these situations, but it feels hollow because I have not bothered to build a real relationship with him. I have become morally repugnant slime, worthy for nothing but to burn in Hell. Of course, the sad realization is that as humans, we all are in that category. However, I have been made acutely aware by the recent events in my life. I thank God for His forgiveness, but need to rededicate my life. I have fallen down a slippery slope with flagrant disregard to the morals and standards I was raised with and uphold cognitively, but not in action. I want to rededicate my life, but I fear that this will only be a passing phase and that I won't dedicate the necessary time to change myself. Can I find restitution and return to my former self, who once delighted in God? Instead, I wallow in my sin here on Earth, scoffing at the truth I understand all too well - that there is more to life than the pleasures of this world. However, I continue to partake. And my actions have produced inequities that have inflicted pain on those I truly care for. Of course, there is no way to prove my loyalty to others when I have spat on their faces and crushed any semblance of closeness that once existed. I can only pray that the Lord on high will forgive me for my sins, and purge me of them. My fervent prayer is that God will place a desire in my heart to grow closer to Him, and begin to rectify these mistakes I have made. Lord, give my life new meaning and help me to live for You. I pray that you will make me good for you again. Help me, as I am helpless to helf myself.



Bury me with a threnody of vindication
A wayward man governed by sinful caprices
Creeping before the throne with trepidation
Knowing the virtues that I left in pieces
With utmost ignominy, lower my head
Prepare it for the guillotine
Palpable compunction turns to dread
As the God I ignored is now seen
The lowest of vermin, the scum of Earth
My sins are unremitting
The values once stockpiled are now a dearth
Yet God is still forgiving
I realize that I am the vilest of men
Who should be eternally condemned to Hell
And yet I am purged of all my sins
Undeserving mercy I know so well